![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ldhensonRe-post continues...
Title: Magnificent 7-11
Part: 5/?
Author: ldhenson
Summary: In which battle preparations are made.
Warnings: Silliness. A little language, perhaps. PG. Gen.
Disclaimer: None of the characters herein, in any form, are mine.
Feedback: Is divine. Shout-out to Susan on MagnificentAUs!
ACT III
INT.--EBAN AND TASTANAGI'S GROCERY STORE, CASHIER'S COUNTER
Chris, Vin, and Josiah are hunched over an ELABORATE MAP formed by
the meticulous arrangement of several hundred Skittles on the
countertop.
CHRIS
(pointing)
His main force came straight in here. Then he left some men back
here.
VIN
I woulda put some reinforcements over here. Put in a couple traps,
maybe.
JOSIAH
Now, if it were me, I would set up shooters along this wall, see?
Get them from above.
Tastanagi comes by, leans over their shoulders to take a look at
what they're discussing.
TASTANAGI
That doesn't look much like my store.
VIN
It ain't, it's the Battle of Helm's Deep. The green ones're the
Orcs, see?
Tastanagi fixes them with a stare. If looks were daggers, the
three would be mincemeat.
CHRIS
We'll, uh, get started right away.
TASTANAGI
(peering closer)
Hey, did these come from the candy rack?
CHRIS
Gosh, look at the time. Gotta do some perimeter patrols.
(making a break for the door)
Very...distant...perimeter patrols.
EXT.--BEHIND THE GROCERY STORE
Vin is here with a group of family/friends/employees. He's loaded up
his trusty SuperSoaker 2000. A nearby dumpster sports a
crudely-painted target. Vin hands his rifle to Eban.
VIN
You ever fired one of these before, Eban?
EBAN
You got to be kidding me.
VIN
(trying to remain enthusiastic)
Okay! Now, take aim at that target. Bring it back a bit. Squeeze
that trigger gently...
The shot misses the mark, but it's not too bad.
VIN
Who wants to go next?
EBAN
No! I can do this.
A little ways down, several adorable children bring in armfuls
of hay.
ADORABLE BOY
Ezra, look!
EZRA
Ah...well done, my little craftsmen. But there is plenty more to do.
ADORABLE BOY
You tryin' to pull one over on us, old man? Where's our tricks?!
EZRA
(nervously fingering his collar)
Uh, of course. Gather around.
EXT.--GROCERY STORE, SIDE OF BUILDING
Josiah's piling up canteloupes to make a low, long wall.
NATHAN
How high you going up?
JOSIAH
Well, I've only got three left and it's two foot high already, so
I'd say...about two foot high.
(nodding to the bundle in Nathan's arms)
Collecting towels, my friend?
NATHAN
Mm-hmm. We got a battle coming. Going to be plenty of men sopping
wet up in here.
EXT.--BEHIND THE GROCERY STORE
Target practice isn't going so well. Several people have water
pistols, and Eban still has Vin's SuperSoaker. The dumpster's quite
wet, but the painted target remains bone-dry.
VIN
The problem is you didn't have the gun pulled tightly against
yer shoulder.
EBAN
That's what you've said to every single person here so far!
VIN
Sorry, it's the only tip I know.
The adorable children are stuffing clothes with hay to make dummies.
EZRA
All right, children...let's see what we have wrought.
They turn to stare at him.
EZRA
(continued)
(hastily)
Spectacular! You've all earned another trick! This one is called
"Aces High."
He fumbles for his deck of cards, shuffles them hurriedly.
EZRA
(continued)
To find the mystical ace of spades, one must become sensitized to
its vibration. For, when one is sensitized, one can better
ascertain its location.
With a flourish, he pulls the ace of spades, holds it aloft
triumphantly. The adorable children look distinctly bored.
Without warning, a JET OF WATER strikes the card, SOAKING Ezra
thoroughly in the process. His audience is delighted.
ADORABLE BOY
Whoo! Do it again!
Ezra mops his face and quickly and carefully wipes the card dry.
Squinting, he tilts it to the sunlight to check for any remaining
droplets.
Another STREAM OF WATER hits the card (and Ezra).
EZRA
(sputtering)
Mr. Tanner!
VIN
Weren't me, Ezra. Can you hold that card up a lil' higher?
EZRA
What?
HALF A DOZEN streams of water BULLSEYE the card (and Ezra).
The employees cheer jubilantly.
VIN
That's great, Ezra! Hold still--
Ezra shoves the deck in his shirt pocket and SPRINTS for the door
as the employees unleash their next salvo.
Wouldn't you know, he almost makes it.
Title: Magnificent 7-11
Part: 5/?
Author: ldhenson
Summary: In which battle preparations are made.
Warnings: Silliness. A little language, perhaps. PG. Gen.
Disclaimer: None of the characters herein, in any form, are mine.
Feedback: Is divine. Shout-out to Susan on MagnificentAUs!
INT.--EBAN AND TASTANAGI'S GROCERY STORE, CASHIER'S COUNTER
Chris, Vin, and Josiah are hunched over an ELABORATE MAP formed by
the meticulous arrangement of several hundred Skittles on the
countertop.
(pointing)
His main force came straight in here. Then he left some men back
here.
VIN
I woulda put some reinforcements over here. Put in a couple traps,
maybe.
JOSIAH
Now, if it were me, I would set up shooters along this wall, see?
Get them from above.
Tastanagi comes by, leans over their shoulders to take a look at
what they're discussing.
That doesn't look much like my store.
VIN
It ain't, it's the Battle of Helm's Deep. The green ones're the
Orcs, see?
Tastanagi fixes them with a stare. If looks were daggers, the
three would be mincemeat.
We'll, uh, get started right away.
TASTANAGI
(peering closer)
Hey, did these come from the candy rack?
CHRIS
Gosh, look at the time. Gotta do some perimeter patrols.
(making a break for the door)
Very...distant...perimeter patrols.
EXT.--BEHIND THE GROCERY STORE
Vin is here with a group of family/friends/employees. He's loaded up
his trusty SuperSoaker 2000. A nearby dumpster sports a
crudely-painted target. Vin hands his rifle to Eban.
You ever fired one of these before, Eban?
EBAN
You got to be kidding me.
VIN
(trying to remain enthusiastic)
Okay! Now, take aim at that target. Bring it back a bit. Squeeze
that trigger gently...
The shot misses the mark, but it's not too bad.
Who wants to go next?
EBAN
No! I can do this.
A little ways down, several adorable children bring in armfuls
of hay.
Ezra, look!
EZRA
Ah...well done, my little craftsmen. But there is plenty more to do.
ADORABLE BOY
You tryin' to pull one over on us, old man? Where's our tricks?!
EZRA
(nervously fingering his collar)
Uh, of course. Gather around.
EXT.--GROCERY STORE, SIDE OF BUILDING
Josiah's piling up canteloupes to make a low, long wall.
How high you going up?
JOSIAH
Well, I've only got three left and it's two foot high already, so
I'd say...about two foot high.
(nodding to the bundle in Nathan's arms)
Collecting towels, my friend?
NATHAN
Mm-hmm. We got a battle coming. Going to be plenty of men sopping
wet up in here.
EXT.--BEHIND THE GROCERY STORE
Target practice isn't going so well. Several people have water
pistols, and Eban still has Vin's SuperSoaker. The dumpster's quite
wet, but the painted target remains bone-dry.
The problem is you didn't have the gun pulled tightly against
yer shoulder.
EBAN
That's what you've said to every single person here so far!
VIN
Sorry, it's the only tip I know.
The adorable children are stuffing clothes with hay to make dummies.
All right, children...let's see what we have wrought.
They turn to stare at him.
(continued)
(hastily)
Spectacular! You've all earned another trick! This one is called
"Aces High."
He fumbles for his deck of cards, shuffles them hurriedly.
(continued)
To find the mystical ace of spades, one must become sensitized to
its vibration. For, when one is sensitized, one can better
ascertain its location.
With a flourish, he pulls the ace of spades, holds it aloft
triumphantly. The adorable children look distinctly bored.
Without warning, a JET OF WATER strikes the card, SOAKING Ezra
thoroughly in the process. His audience is delighted.
Whoo! Do it again!
Ezra mops his face and quickly and carefully wipes the card dry.
Squinting, he tilts it to the sunlight to check for any remaining
droplets.
Another STREAM OF WATER hits the card (and Ezra).
(sputtering)
Mr. Tanner!
VIN
Weren't me, Ezra. Can you hold that card up a lil' higher?
EZRA
What?
HALF A DOZEN streams of water BULLSEYE the card (and Ezra).
The employees cheer jubilantly.
That's great, Ezra! Hold still--
Ezra shoves the deck in his shirt pocket and SPRINTS for the door
as the employees unleash their next salvo.
Wouldn't you know, he almost makes it.
